For most of the people I counsel this time of year, Christmas is anything but merry! Instead, it is a time of acute awareness of what is missing as they compare themselves to others. It does not help that social media exacerbates humanities' comparison compulsion.
Perhaps you can relate to signing in to Facebook to check out the latest social scene. There is a familiar feeling- you quickly experience that pit in your stomach as you see the images: friends attending holiday parties, eating fabulous foods, and wearing ‘knock out’ attire!
Predictably, your mind starts creating incredible stories leading to painful feelings about these friends that you are comparing yourself with. You begin to ask questions, and make up answers that only fuel the hurt. Why didn’t I get invited? Why am I not eating more fabulous food? Why don’t I have the body that can fit into that dress?! Why don’t I have something better to do than stare at these stupid pictures of everybody else having fun; what’s wrong with me?!!
Of course like most comparisons, they are not fair. People are not posting photos of themselves struggling with party social anxiety and insecurities. They don’t reveal their arguments with loved ones while driving to the event, or their self-loathing after binging on that yummy holiday food that looked so yummy!
But regardless, even if we did perceive the highlights of our life to be better than those showcased by our friends, what good does that do? Is the “Merry” in our Christmas determined by our highlights? If it is, we will be constantly seeking, and missing out on what we have right now.
Here is my holiday invitation to you: instead of wishing you were doing something else, appreciate what is in front of you. Pay close attention to it rather than attempting to live a fantasy. Pray that God reveals His acceptance of who you are right now. He is not comparing you to anyone else. That’s what matters.
It is through knowing Him and His Purposes uniquely designed for you, that meaning is found. Peace is a gift readily available in abundance from God. Grace is a gift that lasts forever. You are God’s loved child and He is waiting to spend a “Silent Night” at your side.
Peace, Grace, and Merry Christmas to you! ~ Deb