Our conversation got me thinking about how much I limit myself when I am not willing to stretch beyond my boundaries. In some ways, my husband’s world is bigger than mine. My horizons are limited by my unwillingness to endure the discomfort that is required to reach the summits of the mountains he has climbed. The effort involved in doing so is just too uncomfortable for me.
There are many areas where we limit ourselves. While you may be willing to endure physical discomfort, isn’t there something that you are uncomfortable with? When I ask that question of my clients, here are some of the typical answers I hear: engaging in conflict…starting a task that is difficult… saying “No” to someone… or experiencing and sharing feelings such as sadness, fear or anger.
I think it is human nature to dislike discomfort and therefore, we often run from it. But predictably, whenever we do, although we might feel temporary relief, avoidance most often creates more problems down the road!
For example, if you avoid conflicts, issues don’t get resolved and relationships suffer. If you procrastinate, important tasks are delayed and stress increases. If you say “Yes” when you want to say “No”, resentment builds. When you stuff your feelings instead of expressing them appropriately, depression and anxiety eventually occur. If you avoid exercise and healthy eating, weight gain will greet you the next time you glance in the mirror. Well, you get the idea…avoiding discomfort breeds problems that cause more discomfort.
In fact, I would say that most of life’s problems result because we move away from things that make us feel uncomfortable. Once we begin to see discomfort as a ‘friend’ instead of an enemy, our world expands. With that in mind, I want to invite you to start doing things you are uncomfortable with.
To increase your tolerance of discomfort, challenge yourself daily to do one small thing that you would rather avoid. Once you decide to go for it, simply notice the internal battle. Pay attention to any negative feelings that come up, as well as the excuses your mind makes up to engage in something that is more familiar. Acknowledge that the unknown is uncomfortable, and do it anyway! Chances are, nothing horrible will happen, and you will actually feel good about yourself for having done it.
Maybe I’ll try my own advice with hiking, perhaps not a Mt Humphreys, but the valley is full of smaller mountains. If anyone knows a good Yodeling coach, drop me a line…:-)
Until next time, God Bless ~ Deb